Y’all, this is some NSFW, super graphic, sometimes really disturbing stuff. You’ve been warned.
If we learned anything from watching American Pie, or from just living life, it’s that men will put their penises in pretty much anything.
Basically, when he lived in humid, hot Mozambique, he made a hole in a coconut and made love to it many times over the course of a week. Then, (SORRY ABOUT THIS) maggots infested the coconut, without him knowing and got all over his penis during his last tryst with the plant.
You know, tale as old as time.
This story features unforgettable quotes such as, “For the next week the coconut is my saviour. Whenever I want to get off I simply take it out and fuck it in its delightfully tight hole made better each time by accumulating volumes of my semen and butter acting as a lubricant.”
But that’s just where the story begins.
After this, other Reddit users were apparently feeling inspired and decided to post their own anecdotes of when they too fucked a coconut. These stories became so common, the act developed a new name coined by Buzzfeed; “coco-nutting”. Guys, it’s pretty much a big trendy internet-thing now.
Coco-nutting is so popular, it even has it’s own Subreddit called R/Cocofleshlights.
If you are a lover of the tropical coconut-flavor, these stories might gross you out a bit. Or they might turn you on? Honestly, who even knows anymore.
We must say, it’s highly likely that most of these are fake. Though almost every fruit has probably been used as a sex toy at some point, a lot of these stories are a little far-fetched.
For example this guy:
Or this husband:
Or this dude who tried to think outside the coconut:
The internet is a weird
and wonderful place, which should probably be burned to the ground.
Even if these are all fake, most of us will not be able to drink coconut milk ever again.