Apparently the day my mom found out she was pregnant with me, my dad yelled and pressured her to not keep the pregnancy. My mom, my brother, and sister left to live with my grandparents for a while because of that fight. He eventually came around, but still pretty damn shocking to find out that your dad didn’t want you initially.
Also I hit a rabbit late at night in the middle of Nevada while on a roadtrip with my dad. Immediately after hitting it my dad says, “At least it wasn’t a person.” Found out a few years later that he hit a drunk guy on the highway when he was in college. He was ruled not at fault in court.
Needless to say, my dad and I have an odd relationship.
24.Murder, not heart attack
That my grandfather which I thought died of a heart attack, actually died from being shot at an underground poker game for reasons unknown, and that he was an alcoholic.
25.He probably killed the guy
My mom was jumped and raped (eerily, around the same day and month I would be beaten and raped thirty-odd years later) and my grandfather and uncle (her father and brother) most likely killed the man who did it.
26.She was the only one who survived.
That my cousin was the only survivor of her family’s massacre. I didn’t know about it until I learned about it on a tv show.
I was watching a documentary on “worst mass shootings” in Canada one day about a man who randomly drove past their farm came in and shot them all. She survived because he didn’t see her in her bed. Ended up being really surreal when I put the pieces together that she was who my mom used to talk about.
Weirder was that this all happened after I moved to a city near by the farm and heard people talking about the incident as well. It’s very bizarre hearing people talk about something that involves family, even if you didn’t have a relationship with them.
It’s always sat unwell with me because you hear about the stories but never think “that’ll happen to me or anyone I know” and suddenly the thought changes when it happens to someone within family ties even if I didn’t know her, my close family did.
27.My mom was so PISSED
Long story short, my grandma and great aunt hid the fact that great aunt’s husband not only molested and impregnanted his own daughter but also molested HER daughter (his granddaughter) – the child she had AFTER she gave birth to her father’s child, a son.
When he got caught molesting the granddaughter, her mother was trying to stop him (maybe pressing charges, I don’t know) and he and my GA left their home state and moved to the state where we are.
My grandma knew, hid it until one day she saw him paying a lot of attention to 8 year old me. He and GA went to church with us and we had lots of family gatherings. She then grilled me alone the next day to see if he’d done anything to me, took me home to my parents and finally told them that he’d been living here for months because of what he did to his granddaughter.
I was sent to play in my room and years later, Mom and Dad said they raised complete hell. They were angry, disgusted, etc that she had the nerve to hide that and put me in possible danger. They told me about the whole situation about 10 years later.
25ish years later, I work as an advocate for families and children. I think of my cousin, his granddaughter and his daughter every day. I have a photo of them together. I look at it to remind me to fight as hard as I can against family secrets, to do everything in my power to protect the kids I serve. They both have lived horrible lives that what he did to them made possible. I take every ounce of hatred I have for him and use it to help kids who are forced to be victimized by people like him. It sounds cheesy but his granddaughter is my age. Looking side by side at our lives and knowing what she could have become if he’d not done what he did…just sad.
28. Too many to even tell
God, my family ended up having tons of secrets that really shocked me when I found out, but that are now just whatever.
Two of my aunts seemed to be incapable of avoiding pregnancy in their teens. One aunt had two abortions for unwanted teen pregnancies, before the doctor refused to give her a third and she was forced to have the baby. She gave the baby up for adoption.
Another aunt had two unwanted teen pregnancies, and went through with both of them. She gave the first baby up for adoption, and tried to raise the second baby for about six months before realising she wasn’t cut out for it. My grandparents were farmhands and moved around a lot to follow where the work was, so during one of their moves it was just agreed that my grandmother would take the baby on instead, and he was raised as my uncle instead of my cousin. Everyone in the family now knows this, and still treats him as an uncle because that’s his preference and that’s what we grew up with.
Two of my great uncles had marriages to the same woman. During her first marriage to one of my uncles, she started having an affair with his brother and eventually left my first great uncle to run off with the second. They then remained married for the rest of their lives, but my two great-uncles never spoke again.
29.Dad is a mystery
“Your mother was married before we met” BUT WAIT, that’s not it. “I broke up your mother’s marriage and we married shortly afterwards. We were so in love for these past 25 years.” STILL NOT IT. “I was in a committed gay relationship when I met your mother and then decided to be straight when my boyfriend left me to chase his dreams in Sweden” OMG THIS IS STILL NOT IT…. “I know your mother just died three weeks ago, but I moved this guy named Jeff into the house and he will be sleeping with me.”
…Yeah that was it. New boyfriend sleeping where my mother literally died less than a month ago. Also “Don’t tell your sisters”. Thaaaaanks, Dad.
30.My aunt’s husband has multiple wives…
My aunt isn’t the only wife and she is so nice that she actually allowed her husband to marry another woman HOWEVER unfortunately her husband now uses her for things like food and shelter but whenever he goes on a holiday he takes the other wife.
I then found out that when he wanted to marry the other woman she said that he’d have to divorce her, they then went to court and the husband says that he will only divorce her if she won’t try to take from him (properties and all that), she disagreed, the guy then bribes someone off, they go to court and he suddenly becomes the victim and doesn’t want to divorce her and she had to remain married to the guy and see him marry someone else too.
She also has to make pastries and even some times takes care of the second wife’s kid. I am so livid about it but she gave up the fight a long time ago.
Nowadays whenever he comes to her house it becomes more of a burden. He expects all his clothes clean and ironed, uses the only car their kids could actually drive (he bought a manual car for himself and an auto car for my aunt and her kids to use to buy grocery and necessities) expects home cooked meals, and constantly verbally abuses her. Her eldest son won’t even have dinner together with them because he can’t stand how his dad is treating his mom. He tries his best to protect my aunt.
The only thing that is keeping the fucking guy useful is that he sometimes gives money to his kids for their education (although he is forcing them to learn what he wants them to learn like how the eldest son was more interested in business but he forced him to take engineering instead) and he also provides the money for food (but my aunt has to go ask him for it and get verbally abused while she does so btw she’s unfit to work and TOO FREAKING NICE, she makes pastries and bakes awesome cakes but if someone asks for it she’d do it for free even though she doesn’t even have the money.)
I’m getting pissed just writing about it. I wouldn’t say it’s a family secret but they were keeping it hush hush about it.
My grandfather had written inappropriate love notes to his daughter when she was 13. He was an alcoholic, and she got married off soon after, so we rarely ever see my aunt.
32.Will the robber ever “finish the job?”
My uncle was murdered at the age of 20. He was a very stand up guy. Very sociable, very likable, and extremely kind. He went to a party one day and stayed afterwards to help the hosts (an elderly couple) clean up. A robber came in and shot all three of them to death. The guy was quickly caught but showed no remorse for his actions. After a relatively short trial he was sentenced and given life + 1000 years. He has sworn to “finish the job” and kill my entire family if he ever gets out. He is up for parole every 5 years or so.
33.Our priest uncle was a child molester
I had a great uncle on my mom’s side who was a Catholic Priest. I’d always thought he was a nice old man. He’d never done or said anything I found suspicious. I’d seen him at numerous family gatherings throughout my life. When he died, my dad told my brothers and I that he was a child molester and rapist.
He had numerous victims. When the police searched his home, they found a trunk full of child pornography, much of which he made himself. One of his victims was so broken down mentally, he was deemed unfit to testify in court. The real kicker? He was simply moved to a diocese in San Diego after all was said and done. My mothers family never talks about it. Some of them resented my dad for his willingness to talk about how atrocious it all was.
Also, when I was a kid, my mom drunkenly told me that she’d had numerous miscarriages before she had my brothers and I. Not terribly shocking, just the sort of thing that makes you think about who your parents were before you existed, or what kind of lives they lead that you’ll never know about.
34.My brother isn’t my dad’s kid…
When I was hanging out with my kid brother (he was 14 at the time, I was 24) he said something to the affect of, “You know, I think I look more like Mom’s friend SoandSo than I look like Dad…
After years of my own quiet denial he was finally growing up and very much starting to look ALOT like string-bean SoandSo and not so much like my inherently flabby dad. So I said to young broseph, “I don’t know buddy, things were rough and weird back in the day. You might be surprised if you investigate.”
So a few months roll by and I’m sitting in an all-nite-dinner and SoandSo walks in, he sees me, and decides to sit with me. Pleasantries are exchanges and after a few minutes I absolutely HAVE TO ask him… So I do.
He admits to a 20 year affair and even going so far as to secretly plucking some of my brother’s hair and sending it in to a mail-away DNA test, which came back positive. He goes into a huge spiel about wanting to come clean spend time with him but not wanting to have be around my mother (things had gone down hill between them long since). I told him that the kid was usually home alone three to four hours everyday after school and he’d love nothing more to hang out with him from time to time (my own dad had moved 1400 miles away). So SoandSo stammers for a minute and makes a shit ton of excuses. I stood up, called him a pussy, told him to pay for my cheeseburger, and left.
My brother figured it out on his own and never could grow close to the man. He later ended up resenting him when SoandSo decided to start a legit family of his own thus making him feel discarded.
Our mother is great and we don’t bother her about the past. We all know love is a strange animal.